well thursday the 7th of may we said our final goodbyes to our princess. the service went lovely just how i imagined it.
we had r.e.m's everybody hurts playing as daddy carried you into the chapel as soon as we sat down mummy couldnt help but cry. your coffin was so tiny and i didnt want to say goodbye i wanted you back in my tummy where you belong.
it was an intimate service just me,daddy,hollie,charlotte grandma and my auntie toni.
reverand andrew did a lovely service and read out the poems mummy had chosen. afterwards mummy and daddy was left along with you and we took photos of you with your flowers from grandma and toni and your teddy that the mums from oct got you.
we then left the chapel and visited my auntie vicki's grave where your ashes will be buried and laid all the flowers there. hollie then let go of 5 balloons each one representing those 5 precious months we had with you. the balloons refused to fly though and your big sister chased after them. in the end the wind blew them across the grass and they were gone.
mummy is finding it so hard she still can't believe your gone.
mummy hates being so unhappy. i sent daddy an email telling him how i was feeling how much i was missing you and how much i just want to be pg again just so i can be happy again and daddy doesnt feel the same so mummy is more heartbroken why did you have to go and leave us and make mummy so unhappy. i know you were poorly and are no longer suffering and mummy is in pain so your not but its so hard.
i hope in time daddy might change his mind but i dont think he will and i'm not sure how i will cope if he doesnt.
i love you so so much jessica and wish you were back with us. x
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